A stress-free approach to returning to school

School stress? Yes, it’s only July when I’m writing this, and the old term is just ending. But that’s a really good time to start thinking ahead to September. The beginning of a new school year can be challenging for children, especially if they’re starting school for the first time, or have moved to a new one. And stress for children often means stress for parents.

Preparation on your part can be a great help. Follow these tips to plan ahead and help your kids have a smooth start to the new school year.

Establish a routine to avoid school stress

• Over the summer, later bedtimes and/or getting up later tend to be normal, but this won’t help when school starts. Work out term-time bedtimes a week or so before school starts. Phase them in so the children have time for their sleep patterns to adjust. Gradual changes to their sleep patterns tend to be less disruptive than sudden ones.

• See my blog about sleep for tips on how to encourage a good sleep schedule. Well-rested children will be calmer and better able to focus at school.

• Discuss the new timetable with your child and create a weekly planner of homework and after-school activities. If your children are starting somewhere new, do a practice run. Include the morning routine and the walk or drive so you know how long it will take.

Prepare in advance

• New to school or nursery? Have a look at my tips on starting school for the first time

• Even if they are familiar with school, the new term often means preparing for new routines, teachers or classmates. Well before the end of summer, make a list of all necessary school supplies (stationery, clothing, etc).

• Take a trip soon to buy as much as you can, but don’t worry if you can’t get everything on one trip. Leaving plenty of time before school starts will mean you have other chances. A list will mean you’re less likely to impulse-buy. A last-minute rush (or finding that some vital part of the uniform isn’t available in time) will simply add to any anxiety you or your child is feeling.

• At least a day before school starts, make sure everything your child needs is laid out and ready. Uniforms washed, ironed, and folded. Pens, pencils, notebooks, and anything else needed packed into the school bag the night before. Then you’re not rushing around trying to find everything.

• Prepare as much as you can for breakfast the night before. Make sure your own clothes and belongings are ready too. Check that your alarm clock is set, and that the batteries are fresh!

• Head off potential arguments about clothes or meals by discussing them the night before. When you’re not in a rush, both you and your child will be calmer. The conversation will be less likely to become a fight.

• Put a note on the calendar or a weekly reminder on your phone of what extra items might be needed on what day. Do this as soon as you have their timetable; gym kit or swimsuit, musical instruments, etc.

A few final tips

• If you have room, set a space aside for children to do their homework and revise. Make sure it is quiet and free of distractions. If your child isn’t getting in your way with books all over the kitchen or living room, you’ll be more relaxed, and so will they. A routine study space also helps the child to focus; being in this set space helps them to think, “Okay, time to study now”! Check on your child every so often to see if they’re stuck on anything you can help them with, and make sure the homework is all finished before it’s due.

• If you like aromatherapy, citrus scents can help you feel alert and more optimistic and are great for study areas. Calming scents such as lavender, rose, and ylang-ylang will relax you and your children after a stressful day and encourage restful sleep and can be used in bedrooms.

• There are plenty of ways to ease anxiety around a change in routine like the start of school. For example, instead of leaving the TV on in the mornings, play some music; soothing and relaxing, or lively and cheerful, whichever you and your children prefer.

• Relax! See my blog on self-care for beginners or search this site for other tips on dealing with stress, worry and anxiety of all kinds.

Many children suffer some level of anxiety or worry when they’ve had freedom over the summer and have to go back to a more structured routine during term time. But a few continue to feel anxious about school (or other things) all the time.

If that’s the case, I can work with most children over ten or can refer you to someone who works with younger ones. Please get in touch.